Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Spotted on Slack:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Shared recently on Facebook:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Spotted on Reddit:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
💌 Rise and shine, or should we say, rise and whine! If your morning routine involves diving into your inbox, you might just find yourself swimming in a sea of other people's dilemmas before even brushing your teeth. Remember, coffee before complaints, folks! ☕️😄

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

59 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Making waves on X:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Live now on Reddit:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Just shared via Facebook:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Shared recently on Threads:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Trending via Reddit:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴