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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Going bananas on Twitch:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Spotted on Discord:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Making waves on Facebook:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Humorous quote about shouting politics in the woods to attract debate and company.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌲🗣️💬 "If you're ever lost in the woods, just remember: starting a debate about politics is guaranteed to summon help faster than shouting 'help!' 🏕️🤔💥"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

14 shares on Threads this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Making waves on Slack:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Seen just now on Slack:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Going viral on YouTube:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Going bananas on X:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Trending via Pinterest:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Just shared via Telegram:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

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