Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Sounds like Google is the Grim Reaper of the Internet, ready to pronounce your doom with a single search! 😂💀 Better sleep tight before those search results haunt you all night long!

dead, exhaustion, good, Google, humor, sleep, sleep-deprived, symptoms, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, app, call, calls, communication, extrovert, humor, interaction, introvert, need, outsourcing, pay, phone, phone call, social, social anxiety, social interaction, technology, where
Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

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2 months ago

activity, again, fun, fun activity, goings-on, good, hormones, i, IKEA, me, reproduce, try, watch, watching, whenever
The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

0

2 months ago

back, best, breakfast, diet, food, humor, lifestyle, me, procrastination, sleep, stick, straight
Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

0

2 months ago

A/C, day, everyone, fingers, humor, images, need, people, power, turn
Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

0

3 weeks ago

actually, communication, even, honesty, humor, lying, relationship, understanding, woman, women
Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

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1 month ago

anxiety, bank, buyer, call, confirm, department, fraud, having, humor, little, moment, over, past, phone, phone call, purchase, self-examination, treat, truly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Slack this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Just landed via Twitch:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Shared recently on Discord:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Live now on Messenger:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Just shared via Messenger:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Spotted on YouTube:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨