Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.
  • I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.
  • When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.
  • When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.
  • I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.
  • Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.