I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?