Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Just like a crisp $1 bill, this person is single and confident – no change needed! 💵😄 Who needs a significant other when you've got independence and financial stability, am I right? 💁‍♂️ #SingleAndThriving"

bill, change, dollar, humor, i, independence, money, need, one dollar, relationship, self-worth, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

2 months ago

age, childhood, humor, i, nostalgia, sandwich, simplicity, square, thing, triangle, world
Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chef, compliment, compliments, fart, funny situation, humor, i, joke, just, moment, panic, situation, someone, work, workplace
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

3 months ago

approval, death, funeral, humor, i, irony, letter, nice, norms, sarcasm, saying, social, social norms, wit
This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

2 months ago

even, humor, joke, scotch, tape, taste
Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

2 months ago

childhood, expression, facial, facial expression, forehead, humor, memory, movy, nostalgia, real, realism, remember, wrinkle
The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

2 months ago

adult, daily, daily life, glasses, head, humor, keys, knees, life, phone, priorities, responsibility, version, wallet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

49 shares on Threads this month:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

42 shares on X this month:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Trending via TikTok:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Just shared via WeChat:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Spotted on Twitch:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Breaking via TikTok:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Just shared via Facebook:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Trending via TikTok:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Breaking via Facebook:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨