Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Shared recently on X:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Just landed via YouTube:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Spotted on Slack:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Live now on Telegram:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the way to someone's heart (and maybe more) was through their stomach? 🍔💕 #FoodIsTheKeyToLove"

attraction, buysexual, date, food, humor, i, joke, me, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

2 months ago

code, debug, development, enlightenment, humor, programming, software, software development, sometimes, staring
No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

5 months ago

better, booster, comfort, comfort food, food, form, humor, matter, mood, mood booster, potato, sad, sadness
Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

2 months ago

comedy, confidence, Funny, humor, know, much, resilience, self-deprecating, trauma
I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

4 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, Bob, Bob Ross, cloud, clouds, fluff, fluffy, humor, i, ross, wanted
Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

2 months ago

ask, astrology, being, ever, feelings, humor, Mercury, only, perspective, reflection, retrograde, self-centered, stop, think, yourself
There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

2 months ago

activity, date, fun, fun activity, here, humor, i, lay, lie, me, personality, personality quiz, quiz, relationship, sex, take

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

67 shares on Discord this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

82 shares on X this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

69 but we both just farting.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Trending via Twitch:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Making waves on Instagram:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Spotted on Facebook:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Seen just now on Slack:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Just shared via X:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨