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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,983

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Breaking via Discord:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m sick of living through history!

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Live now on WeChat:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that the way to someone's heart (and maybe more) was through their stomach? 🍔💕 #FoodIsTheKeyToLove"

attraction, buysexual, date, food, humor, i, joke, me, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

1 month ago

another, employment, finding, humor, i, job, problem, want, work
That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

1 month ago

awkward, awkward moment, di, dish, dishes, doing, doing di, funny situation, humor, moment, procrastination, put, sink, situation, social, social situation, someone
I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

1 month ago

distracted, distracted driving, drive, driving, driving humor, effect, food, humor, i, passenger, passenger effect, person, road, road safety, safety, seat, sitting
There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

1 month ago

done, enough, humor, i, movie, movie night, night, not enough, popcorn, quantity, regret, snack
If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

1 month ago

avoidance, awkward, high, high school, humor, interaction, keep, me, nostalgia, public, school, social, social interaction
Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

1 month ago

build, communication, dating, effort, expectations, humor, love, men, modern, modern love, much, relationship, replying, romance, think, time, too, used, women

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Just shared via YouTube:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Making waves on Facebook:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Just landed via X:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Just shared via Reddit:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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