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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

20 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Just landed via X:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Going viral on Slack:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Live now on YouTube:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

6 months ago

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the scandalous lack of scandal on Netflix! 🙈 It's like paying for an all-you-can-eat buffet and only getting a breadstick 🥖. But hey, at least we can all enjoy those riveting documentaries about paint drying 🎨, right? 😂 #BringBackTheNudity"

am, days, disgust, disgusted, even, expectation, humor, i, irony, Netflix, nudity, payment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

20 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Going viral on X:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Seen just now on Slack:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Going viral on Threads:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Breaking via Slack:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Going viral on Slack:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

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