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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Making waves on WeChat:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Spotted on X:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Broadcasted on Slack:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Making waves on Instagram:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

2 months ago

0

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the scandalous lack of scandal on Netflix! 🙈 It's like paying for an all-you-can-eat buffet and only getting a breadstick 🥖. But hey, at least we can all enjoy those riveting documentaries about paint drying 🎨, right? 😂 #BringBackTheNudity"

am, days, disgust, disgusted, even, expectation, humor, i, irony, Netflix, nudity, payment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

0

3 weeks ago

being, cheating, dating, days, humor, infidelity, know, problem, relationship, relationships, trust
Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

0

3 months ago

absolutely, authority, behavior, buttered, buttered noodle, child, child behavior, humor, lie, nap, naps, noodle, noodles, parenting, toddler, toddlers
I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

0

3 days ago

Avatar, born, disappointment, fandom, humor, i, interest, unfortunately
As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

0

2 months ago

apologize, apology, daughter, era, family, family relationship, fashion, fashion era, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, i, jean, jeans, low-rise, low-rise jean, parent, parents, relationship, teenage, teenage daughter, top, tube, tube top
I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

0

3 hours ago

always, bigger, character, character flaw, eater, flaw, flaws, friends, friendship, humor, i, picky, picky eater, problem, problems
Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

0

5 months ago

behavior, comment, comments, Funny, humor, internet, online, online behavior, porn, porn site, site, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

34 shares on Twitch this month:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

45 shares on Threads this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Going viral on Threads:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Trending via Messenger:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Live now on WeChat:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Just landed via Threads:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

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