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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,993

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

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I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.
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Commentary:
🍕📸 "Who needs unsolicited selfies when you can woo someone with unsolicited pizza pics instead? Talk about a slice of romance! 🍕😉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

54 shares on X this month:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

54 shares on Reddit this month:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Trending via Facebook:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Going viral on Messenger:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Going viral on TikTok:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Just landed via WeChat:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

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