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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Trending via X:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Live now on Instagram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Spotted on X:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Going viral on WeChat:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Playful and witty text about sending unsolicited pizza photos to women.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍕📸 "Who needs unsolicited selfies when you can woo someone with unsolicited pizza pics instead? Talk about a slice of romance! 🍕😉"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

91 shares on Threads this month:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Trending via Facebook:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Making waves on Instagram:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Trending via YouTube:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Going viral on Reddit:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Live now on Facebook:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

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