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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Just shared via Discord:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Spotted on Reddit:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Breaking via WeChat:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Shared recently on Threads:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about aging and comfort, humorously claiming a certain age with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, that age when sitting cross-legged becomes a temporary feat of flexibility! 🧘‍♂️💫 Who knew getting older would come with such strict sitting requirements? Sit for too long in one position and suddenly all the pains and creaks start to make an appearance! 😂 #AchingJoints #AgeIsJustANumber

age, comfort, humor, i, old, sit, sitting, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

50 shares on Discord this month:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

34 shares on YouTube this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

59 shares on Threads this month:

50 shades of single.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Making waves on Messenger:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Making waves on Telegram:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Going viral on Twitch:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

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