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Commentary:
"I'm not superstitious because it brings bad luck. Or at least that's what my lucky rabbit's foot told me after breaking a mirror under a ladder while spilling salt! 🐇🪞🪜 #JustMyLuck"

bad, bad luck, belief, humor, irony, luck, superstitious

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

0

2 months ago

duality, humor, inner, inner struggle, inside, joke, landlord, me, struggle, tell, wolf
Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

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2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, everyone, free, Friday, humor, joke, Monday, satire, should, through, workday
The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

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2 weeks ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game
Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

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3 months ago

adulthood, adulting, chore, humor, life, neverending, responsibility, shit, story
Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

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2 months ago

ambition, ambitious, daughter, day, delusional, every, family, humor, lottery, needs, struggles, winning
Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

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2 months ago

amusing, comedy, future, humor, joke, prediction, psychic, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

10 shares on X this month:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Going viral on Facebook:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Just landed via X:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨