Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.
  • I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
  • Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.
  • Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?
  • With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.
  • That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.