Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,772

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Making waves on Facebook:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Making waves on Telegram:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Seen just now on Slack:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

1 month ago

Funny quote about complacency, featuring witty text about feeding a crow army for years.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Don't mess with someone who has a crow army on speed dial! 🦅💪🍿 #FeatheredAllies #BringItOnWWIII"

army, crow, feeding, humor, worry, WWIII

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Going bananas on Slack:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Trending via Instagram:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Freshly posted on X:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨