I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Commentary:
“Don’t mess with someone who has a crow army on speed dial! 🦅💪🍿 #FeatheredAllies #BringItOnWWIII”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

    Commentary:
    “Feeling like a hotel microwave: all that potential, but in reality, just a warm and forgettable presence 🍿💥 Just waiting for someone to hit the ‘start’ button on life! 🔌 #MicrowaveMood”

  • I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

    Commentary:
    Oh no, it sounds like you’re stuck in a digital identity crisis! 🤖 Don’t worry, being accused of being a robot just means you’re extra tech-savvy! Time to bring out your secret weapon: a password manager! 🔒💻 Embrace your inner human and show those captchas who’s boss! 😄 #DigitalDrama

  • Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs public transportation when you’ve got a pair of sturdy shoes and an empty wallet? 👞🚶‍♂️ Embracing the broke life, where every city suddenly becomes a pedestrian paradise! 🏙️💸 #WalkingIsTheNewLuxury”

  • In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

    Commentary:
    When dealing with heartbreak, English gets right to the point while poetry takes the scenic route and grabs a cup of tea along the way ☕️💔 Emotions are like a complex labyrinth – one moment you’re discussing change, the next you’re wistfully pondering ghosts of relationships past 👻💔 Ah, the power of language to beautifully capture the messiness of love and loss! 📜❤️ #PoetryVsProse

  • There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

    Commentary:
    “Whoever said ‘fun for the whole family’ clearly never tried to organize a vacation with picky eaters, moody teenagers, and grandparents who refuse to use GPS. 🤪👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family fun? More like family chaos! 🌪️😅”

  • I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the classic dilemma of adulthood – pills versus glasses, a tale as old as time! 🤔💊👓 Who needs a memory when you’ve got a sense of humor, right? Maybe it’s time for some pill-shaped glasses or glasses-shaped pills – problem solved! 😂