“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

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I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

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I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

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It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

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Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

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At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

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Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

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I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

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I could low-key really use a wish right now.