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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Making waves on Reddit:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Spotted on WeChat:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Reported on Twitch:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.
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Commentary:
"Well, I may not be able to bust a jar open, but I can flex my brain muscles like a champ! 💪💡 Who needs brute force when you've got mighty intellect, am I right?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Trending via YouTube:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Live now on Instagram:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Just landed via Threads:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Seen just now on Threads:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Spotted on Reddit:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

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