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Commentary:
"Well, I may not be able to bust a jar open, but I can flex my brain muscles like a champ! 💪💡 Who needs brute force when you've got mighty intellect, am I right?"

context, humor, jar, open, self-deprecation, strength, strong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

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2 months ago

actually, efficiency, efficiency tips, humor, laziness, morning, relaxation, rituals, self-care, sleeping, tips
Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

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2 months ago

gentle, hands, humor, joke, last, pickpocket, relationship, status
The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

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2 months ago

diet, else, everything, food, fridge, grateful, healthy, healthy food, humor, joke, life, much, should, survive
Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

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2 months ago

annoyance, car, humor, marry, mirror, relationship, seat, size
They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

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2 months ago

curiosity, house, humor, inside, invasion, just, let, me, perspective, should
“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

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1 month ago

anger, angry, behavior, humor, internet, online, online behavior, personality, unfortunate

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

38 shares on X this month:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

27 shares on Slack this month:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Spotted on X:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Going viral on YouTube:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Seen just now on X:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Making waves on Instagram:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Spotted on YouTube:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨