Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.
  • The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.
  • Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.
  • Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”
  • Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.
  • Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.