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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

1 hour ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Making waves on Instagram:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Breaking via WeChat:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Going viral on Telegram:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Freshly posted on X:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Just shared via Slack:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Jan 20, 2025

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate torment – eternal email verification! 🔥📧😈 Waiting in agony for that elusive confirmation email like… "Did it get caught in spam hell? Do I need to sell my soul for it to arrive?" Just when you thought spam folders couldn't get any scarier… welcome to the fiery depths of tech support hell! 😂🔥🔒

address, arrif, email, frustration, hell, joke, never, technology, verify, wait

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

1 hour ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Just landed via Threads:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Shared recently on Facebook:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Making waves on Messenger:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Spotted on Twitch:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Making waves on Slack:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Going viral on YouTube:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

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