Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.
  • If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.
  • My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.
  • The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
  • I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.
  • All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.