OMAHA—A revolutionary new dating app, BlinkCupid, promises to connect singles like never before. “The heart wants what the optic nerve wants,” said founder Gina Larson, explaining that the app’s algorithm matches users by analyzing blinking patterns during selfies.

In a world of infinite swipes, BlinkCupid sets an unprecedented standard. “It’s simple—blink once for yes, twice for not tonight. Long blinks express deep interest,” Larson added, while nervously batting her eyelids.

Critics argue the app lacks substance, but Larson insists that texting after matches will soon involve winking Morse code. “It’s efficient,” she claimed, though early testers reported communication challenges, particularly during allergy season.