Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Making waves on Slack:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Seen just now on Discord:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Just landed via Discord:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Live now on Discord:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Spotted on Slack:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a calculator when you have insomnia? 💤➗💭 You become a human mathematician, crunching numbers in your head all night trying to figure out the elusive equation of sleep time. Just remember, counting sheep does not count as a valid mathematical method! 🐑😂 #SleeplessStruggles"

asleep, calculations, fall, fall asleep, humor, insomnia, math, night, rest, right, skills, sleep, spend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

28 shares on Threads this month:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,741

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Seen just now on Instagram:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Seen just now on Threads:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Going bananas on TikTok:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Spotted on Discord:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Trending via Facebook:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Spotted on Discord:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

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