Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

21 hours ago

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Just landed via Slack:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Trending via Slack:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Trending via Threads:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Just shared via Threads:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Jan 21, 2025

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a calculator when you have insomnia? 💤➗💭 You become a human mathematician, crunching numbers in your head all night trying to figure out the elusive equation of sleep time. Just remember, counting sheep does not count as a valid mathematical method! 🐑😂 #SleeplessStruggles"

asleep, calculations, fall, fall asleep, humor, insomnia, math, night, rest, right, skills, sleep, spend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

21 hours ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Making waves on Threads:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Going viral on X:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Just shared via Snapchat:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Just shared via TikTok:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

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