Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Commentary:
Interviewer: Can I get you anything? 🧐
Me: Yeah, a job! πŸ’ΌπŸ’Ό Guess I’ll take the position of β€œProfessional Sarcasm Provider”! πŸ˜„

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