Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal optimism of telling ourselves it can’t get worse… only to be spectacularly proven wrong! 🙈 Hang in there, you're in for a wild ride of going from bad to worse! 🎢😂"

humor, i, irony, knowing, lie, myself, optimism, reality, self-deception, struggle, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

0

3 months ago

chicken, food, food humor, grocery, grocery store, humor, hunt, lot, parking, parking lot, ready, rotisserie, rotisserie chicken, shopping, shopping humor, store, thrill, waiting
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

0

3 weeks ago

5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth
I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

0

2 months ago

convenience, delivery, door, everything, expectation, humor, i, irony, just, laziness, me, outside
Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

0

3 weeks ago

actually, communication, even, honesty, humor, lying, relationship, understanding, woman, women
Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

0

2 months ago

call, dating, humor, i, me, money, much, poor, self-esteem, ugly, wealth, women
When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

0

2 months ago

assumption, cheese, enriching, food, found, humor, i, life, lifestyle, people, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

12 shares on Discord this month:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Just landed via Threads:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Just shared via X:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Just landed via TikTok:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Trending via WeChat:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Just landed via Messenger:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Trending via YouTube:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Going bananas on Reddit:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨