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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Spotted on Slack:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the magical transformation of wide pants into tight pants! 🌟 Who knew our clothes could participate in a fashion metamorphosis too? 🦋 It's like a surprise reunion with an old friend… who now gives you a hug a little too snug. 😄 Just keep rocking those tight pants with confidence! 💃 #FashionComedy

again, body, body image, finding, found, humor, image, just, pants, self-acceptance, tight, wide

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m running out of people I like.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent someone who holds me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Just landed via Reddit:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Live now on YouTube:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Going bananas on Discord:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Shared recently on X:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

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