Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.
  • 50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.
  • Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?
  • Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.
  • I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.
  • The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.