Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Going viral on Twitch:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

3 weeks ago

Playful text about singing confidently despite not being able to sing, humorous and lighthearted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs Grammy nomination when you've got passion! 🎤💃 Don't let a lack of talent stop you from belting out those off-key shower ballads! Just remember, confidence is key… and maybe some earplugs for your audience! 🙉😂"

activity, confidence, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, mean, music, self-expression, sing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

51 shares on Slack this month:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Just shared via WeChat:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Just shared via Slack:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Just landed via WeChat:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

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