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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Plants are like โ€œIโ€™ll have a light lunch.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

โ€œReal Housewivesโ€ is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldnโ€™t get scratched, itโ€™s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on YouTube:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Going bananas on Slack:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Seen just now on Discord:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Going viral on Slack:

Whoever said, โ€œLaughter is the best medicine,โ€ clearly never tried Revenge.

Just shared via Threads:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Going viral on TikTok:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think youโ€™re super busy doing important stuff even when youโ€™re not.

Trending via Reddit:

โ€œAre you dating anyone?โ€ I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Making waves on YouTube:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

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Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.
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Commentary:
"Who needs Grammy nomination when you've got passion! ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ’ƒ Don't let a lack of talent stop you from belting out those off-key shower ballads! Just remember, confidence is key… and maybe some earplugs for your audience! ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Social Media Stars โญ

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless itโ€™s me doing it.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

It sucks when you realize itโ€™s only Thursday, until you realize itโ€™s only Wednesday.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

There arenโ€™t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

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Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Everyoneโ€™s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I didn’t like my beard at firstโ€ฆ then it grew on me.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,815

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who canโ€™t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Thereโ€™s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, Iโ€™ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone elseโ€™s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Breaking via Slack:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Trending via Pinterest:

I donโ€™t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Just landed via Threads:

The only way Iโ€™m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Live now on WeChat:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Cicadas are all like, โ€œYโ€™all mind if I scream?โ€

Going bananas on Reddit:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Freshly posted on X:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All Iโ€™m asking my brain to do is nothing and it canโ€™t even do that?

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