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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

13 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Live now on Telegram:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Trending via Threads:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Trending via Instagram:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Freshly posted on X:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Trending via Threads:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Trending via X:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

4 months ago

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍕💪 "Just imagine a world where biting into a slice of pizza not only satisfies your hunger but also magically melts away the calories! 🤯🍕✨ Forget gym memberships and diets, all we need is some extra cheese and pepperoni to achieve our dream body! 🧀🍕💃 Who says you can't have your pizza and eat it too? 😉🍕 #PizzaGoals"

great, imagine, just, life, pizza, skinny

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

13 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Trending via Reddit:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Spotted on YouTube:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Trending via TikTok:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Trending via Telegram:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Reported on Twitch:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

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