Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.
  • When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”
  • I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!
  • I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.
  • He’s a 10 but so is his volume.
  • My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.