ROCHESTER—Determined to dine in peace, local man Terrence McCall has declared his intentions to eat his lunch without an audience this week. “I’ve been practicing my ‘Don’t look at me, I’m a loner’ face,” reported McCall, holding his sandwich like a secret document. Witnesses confirm the plan involves strategically muttering about tax documents and yams to deter observers.

McCall’s campaign to vanquish onlookers has gained support, with several colleagues pledging to loudly discuss their vivid dreams nearby. “Nothing clears a room like a detailed analysis of last night’s taco-induced visions,” stated co-worker Paula Driscoll. Initial trials resulted in fellow diners choosing to stare at their own food intently, yet straws are being drawn on backup topics involving interpretive dance moves.

Despite the innovative strategy, McCall faces backlash from Craig, a self-proclaimed lunch philosopher, who insists even Oscar nominees can’t achieve dining invisibility. “Once you crack a chip, it’s game over,” warned Craig from a neighboring table, offering a magnifying glass to anyone still unconvinced. McCall plans to file for a lunchtime witness protection program, pending HR approval.