LIVERPOOL—Local resident Kevin Harper has been appointed as the new mayor, supposedly because of his unique leadership style, notably characterized by his complete inability to listen. “Kevin’s got this incredible knack for tuning out everything and everyone. It’s truly something to witness,” said city council member Sheila Watkins.

Sources report Harper secured his first victory during a budget meeting by nodding approvingly while scrolling through social media. “It turns out ignoring us completely is what brings us all together,” shared Councilman Tim Barton, expressing amazement at how Harper’s nonchalance squashed debate range concerns.

“We can now waste time in peace,” noted Deputy Mayor Sally Gregson, citing Harper’s laissez-faire leadership style. When asked for comment, Harper simply smiled blankly, still unaware of the responsibilities, or perhaps the existence, of his new role.