CINCINNATI—Area resident Tom Jenkins was left in shock Monday after a seemingly routine food offer resulted in an agreeable response. “It’s like they didn’t even hesitate to say yes,” said Jenkins, visibly shaken by the interaction. Witnesses report he immediately regretted offering up his gourmet granola, which he secretly considered a rare delicacy.

“I thought offering food was just a polite formality, like asking how someone’s day is. You’re not supposed to actually want it,” Jenkins explained, still bewildered by the audacity of Ralph Simmons, his colleague, who casually accepted without so much as a “Are you sure?” Attached friends somehow find themselves involuntarily stashing away snacks when Jenkins approaches.

Experts suggest problematic levels of snack generosity stem from deeply ingrained social pressures to appear courteous while simultaneously harboring possessive instincts. “We wouldn’t be surprised if similar incidents lead to a rise in communal food anxiety,” stated behavioral psychologist Dr. Elaine Draper. Jenkins has since vowed to only offer kale chips—”a safer bet,” he claims.