Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

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Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

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When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

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You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

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Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.