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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Trending via Twitch:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Spotted on Telegram:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just shared via TikTok:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Seen just now on X:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Spotted on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Trending via WeChat:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

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Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal cycle of kitchen woes: slaving away for hours to create a masterpiece, only for it to disappear in mere seconds, leaving behind a mountain of dishes that seems to reproduce on its own. It's like a twisted game of culinary whack-a-mole – just when you think you've conquered the kitchen, the dishes pop up again, laughing in the face of your clean plate aspirations."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

83 shares on Threads this month:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Going viral on Snapchat:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Trending via WhatsApp:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Just landed via Twitch:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Making waves on TikTok:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

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