BROKEN BOW, OK—Local businessman Kevin Miller discovered that incorporating words he doesn’t quite grasp makes him sound more photosynthesis during business meetings. “Throwing in a ‘juxtaposition’ here, and a ‘quintessential’ there, and suddenly people think I photosynthesize,” Miller explained, twirling his dictionary like a trophy.

“My bosses are calling me a ‘renaissance man’ now,” revealed Miller, who recalls being awarded Employee of the Month for his eloquent use of ‘platypus’. “Or, at least, I think that’s a compliment—a dictionary might help with that.” His colleagues now seek his advice on projects requiring extra syllables.

Inspired by this rise in prestige, Miller aims to become the ultimate lexiconista, merging his love for tricky words with office ambition. “Soon they’ll be asking me about thermodionics of our macroeconomics,” he stated confidently, as nearby plants desperately photosynthesized to keep up with his intellectual prowess.