MINNEAPOLIS—When asked about his feelings toward his ex-girlfriend, local man Dave Hooper clarified Tuesday that he is not harboring ill will, just a peculiar lack of interest in her remaining corporeal. “Look, I don’t hate you,” Hooper stated peacefully, “I just don’t want to see you alive.” Friends of the couple claim this is Hooper’s most complimentary breakup line yet.

Instead of moving on with dating apps, Hooper has reportedly taken an interest in spiritual mediums. “I’m open to communicating in the afterlife,” he said. “It’s just the pre-death interactions I can do without.” Sources say this new laissez-faire attitude toward mortality plays well with his budding goth lifestyle.

Hooper’s friends were amused but not very surprised by his unconventional approach. “Dave’s always been the type to prefer watching documentaries about haunted houses over romcoms,” said a close friend. Hooper, now working on his ghost whisperer skills, added, “Who needs dinner dates when we have séances?”