SHEFFIELD—In a touching yet perplexing gesture, local romantic Dylan Turner proposed to his girlfriend Clara Mills by asking if she’d be his nothing forever. “I figured I’d go for something timeless,” said Turner as Mills tried to decipher whether it was a marriage proposal or a philosophical declaration. “It’s just so beautifully devoid of meaning,” she mused while still awaiting clarification.

Friends reportedly applauded Turner for his creativity, citing his ability to think outside the box. “It’s like the anti-thesis of commitment,” said best friend Mark Daniels. “Dylan really nailed it—that whole ‘forever’ thing without the burdensome permanence.” Daniels plans to adopt Turner’s strategy for his upcoming Valentine’s Day cards, but with a focus on “thanks for being my infinite vacuum.”

Relationship experts are divided on whether Turner’s proposal could set a trend or lead to mass confusion. “The concept of embracing nothing is remarkably profound,” noted Dr. Hazel Clarke. However, skeptics warn of dangerous voids at wedding ceremonies where couples may opt for moments of silence in lieu of vows. “It’s all fun and games until someone asks what nothing would look like as a wedding cake,” Clarke concluded.