HOBART—In an unprecedented legal move, local man Gary Jenkins filed a lawsuit against Woeful Wallets Inc., claiming emotional distress after repeatedly opening his wallet to find it devoid of funds. “Every time I open it, there’s no $10,000,” Jenkins lamented. “I was promised riches by my horoscope and I blame these guys for it not happening.”

Jenkins revealed he’d spent years waiting for a miraculous appearance of cash, placing blind faith in his wallet’s transformative power. “I don’t know what I expected,” Jenkins conceded, “But it’s about time they start making wallets that trip off the money train.”

Representatives from Woeful Wallets have yet to comment, but insiders speculate about a new “Cash Conjuror” line designed to ward off similar lawsuits. “It might come with a holographic money printer,” suggested Jenkins. “Or maybe just enough jokes to make you laugh off your financial woes.”