Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Spreading quickly via X:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Just landed via Messenger:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Going viral on Reddit:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Going viral on Facebook:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Going viral on Slack:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Saving the world, one expired carrot at a time! 🥕🦠 Don't mess with the veggie drawer – it's a jungle in there! 🥦🌿 #FridgeAdventure"

before, drawer, empty, food, fridge, humor, kitchen, life, maintenance, own, procrastination, something, vegetable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, humor, identity, italian, just, means, pesto, pounding, relatable, word
What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

0

5 months ago

buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth
So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

0

2 months ago

birthday, boy, celebration, consequences, drinking, DUI, even, humor, irony, party, still
If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

0

2 months ago

big, communication, humor, man, relationship, silent, thinker, trouble, woman
I have a very particular set of useless skills.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, particular, set, skills, talent, uniqueness, useless
Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

0

4 months ago

choose, communication, humor, i, just, meeting, meetings, podcast, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨