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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,786

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Going viral on Twitch:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Just landed via X:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Just shared via Threads:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Live now on Snapchat:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Making waves on Facebook:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Saving the world, one expired carrot at a time! 🥕🦠 Don't mess with the veggie drawer – it's a jungle in there! 🥦🌿 #FridgeAdventure"

before, drawer, empty, food, fridge, humor, kitchen, life, maintenance, own, procrastination, something, vegetable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

1 month ago
blowing, crazy, everywhere, ex, humor, nature, relationship, today, trash, watch, weather, wind
My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

4 months ago
dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone
Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

1 month ago
ages, awkward, awkward moment, communication, context, fail, humiliation, media, message, miscommunication, moment, nothing, odd, picture, send, social, social media, something, technology, technology fail, text, text message
Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

1 month ago
bible, Bible lesson, Bible name, giving, humor, kid, kids, last, lesson, lessons, me, Moses, name, names, night, robbery, stop, tried
The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

1 month ago
eat, eating, forbidden, forbidden knowledge, gel, humor, knowledge, me, silica, silica gel, suspicion, told
Be useless, so nobody can use you.

1 month ago
cynicism, humor, irony, motivation, nobody, sarcasm, self-deprecating, useless, uselessness, witty

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Trending via Instagram:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Just shared via WeChat:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just landed via Discord:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Trending via Facebook:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Trending via Facebook:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I remember sex. That was cool.

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

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Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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