BOISE—In a twist nobody saw coming, area man Carl Winslow took home a surprising victory at the annual Boise Debate Club tournament by simply explaining why he was right for three consecutive hours. “Why argue when I can deliver the universe’s truth directly to their ears?” Winslow mused, sipping chamomile tea and polishing his Participation Award.

Spectators, including Winslow’s own mother, noted his technique as unprecedented and mildly hypnotic. “Well, he sure out-talked everyone else,” said Mrs. Winslow. “By the end, the other debaters were so exhausted, they just let him declare himself the winner. And maybe he’s right. I’m too weary to disagree.”

The debate club plans to review its rules after judging panels were left speechless yet nodding in agreement to Winslow’s enlightening yet baffling manifesto on the merits of being unequivocally correct. With prizes delivered in pamphlet form, organizers remain hopeful: “Next year, we might implement a five-minute egg timer.”