Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Trending via Threads:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Breaking via X:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Just landed via Reddit:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Shared recently on Slack:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me to alien: Don't worry, blending in is an art form I have *almost* perfected! 👽🕵️‍♂️ #MasterOfDisguise"

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

0

2 months ago

adventure, gap, humor, i, job, lost, resume, sailing, sea
Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, birthday, celebration, expectations, gift, government, humor, irony, knows, me, never
The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

0

2 months ago

adventure, Africa, humor, i, last, me, missionary, relationship, remote, remote village, time, travel, try, village, wanted
Why read the room when you can leave the room?

0

2 months ago

cues, humor, leave, leaving, read, room, sarcasm, social, social cues, why
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

0

2 months ago

Cairo, culture, dance, Egyptian, humor, i, injury, need, practor, pun, tried, walk
The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

0

2 months ago

cause, commentary, country, fixing, humor, immigration, irony, main, people, satire, social, social commentary, still, want, where, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

26 shares on X this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

90 shares on X this month:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Breaking via Instagram:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Broadcasted on X:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Breaking via Twitch:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨