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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

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Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

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I miss you (the money I spent).

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I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

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My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

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Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

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If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

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As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

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Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think thatโ€™s beautiful.

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Everyoneโ€™s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

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My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Commentary:
Looks like a royal decree for a new way of picking things up! ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿคฃ Who needs a bow when you can gracefully curtsy your way to success? All hail the back-saving curtsy technique! ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ #BowVsCurtsy #RoyalPainInMyBack



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