My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

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Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.