Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like I need a recharge by mid-afternoon, just like my phone battery! 🔋😂 Who knew our bodies and devices had so much in common?"

4pm, battery, body, drained, energy, humor, phone, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

0

2 months ago

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected
Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

0

2 months ago

automatic, automatic door, delay, door, door delay, doors, dumb, embarrassment, enough, everyday, everyday life, fast, humor, impatience, life, me, open, social, social embarrassment
Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

0

2 months ago

20s, activity, discussing, food, fun, fun activity, growth, humor, lifestyle, making, new, personal, personal growth, related, soup, trying
I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

0

2 months ago

cartoon, cooking, creativity, dinner, food, going, honesty, humor, just, me, pot, real, things, throwing, witch
Come on, karma, do your job.

0

2 months ago

come on, expectation, humor, irony, job, karma
Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

0

2 months ago

age, always, humor, me, older, people, personality, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on X this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship status: he escaped.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

62 shares on Threads this month:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Trending via Facebook:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Going viral on Messenger:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Seen just now on Slack:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Shared recently on Threads:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Come on, karma, do your job.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨