Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like I need a recharge by mid-afternoon, just like my phone battery! 🔋😂 Who knew our bodies and devices had so much in common?"

4pm, battery, body, drained, energy, humor, phone, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

0

6 days ago

Amazon, business, consumer, delivery, humor, i, me, none, oh, online, online shopping, package, please, self-awareness, shopping, tell, tracking, year
My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

0

2 months ago

amusement, amusing, chores, cleaning, humor, husband, i, marriage, prince, princess, sing, singing, someday, song, while
They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

0

2 months ago

activity, freedom, going, going outside, invent, looking, observation, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, personal, personal space, privacy, should, social, social observation, solitude, space
When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

0

2 months ago

awake, being, caffeine, coffee, drink, everyday, everyday struggle, humor, humor quote, okay, people, problem, solve, struggle, wakefulness
Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

0

2 months ago

40, activity, age, dating, fun, fun activity, hide, hide and seek, humor, life, loneliness, looking, over, relationships, seek, seeking, single, single life
Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

0

2 months ago

born, cog, existential, forced, forest, frolicker, humor, irony, machine, nature, struggle, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Twitch this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

15 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

94 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Shared recently on X:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Shared recently on Twitch:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

You are the Monday of my life.

Just landed via Discord:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Just landed via Messenger:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨