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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Jan 7, 2026

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Trending via Facebook:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Spotted on Slack:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Live now on Facebook:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

2 months ago

0

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your daily routine is trying its best to defy the laws of nature! 😴☕️💤 Just remember, even if your body can't decide when to be awake or asleep, there's always a chance for a power nap Olympics in between! 🏅😂

lazy, morning, nap, night, sleep, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

0

5 months ago

disappointment, expectation, forward, greeting, hi, humor, i, letting, much, sarcasm
I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

0

2 months ago

feel, fun, humor, i, life, matters, need, nihilism, nothing, philosophy
I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

0

5 months ago

beach, career, career change, change, humor, job, quitting, quitting job, reading, tarot, tarot reading, topless
Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, humor, humor quote, joke, lamps, lighten, lighten up, need, normalize, people, sarcasm, throwing
For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

0

2 months ago

always, beauty, Dracula, eyeliner, fashion, goth, guy, humor, joke, makeup, reflection, vampire
Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

0

2 months ago

choice, horse, humor, love, marry, meet, prince, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Facebook this month:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

28 shares on Reddit this month:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

97 shares on Instagram this month:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

15 shares on X this month:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Just shared via Messenger:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Making waves on Slack:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

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