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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Every time I buy vegetables itโ€™s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasnโ€™t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Twitch:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like theyโ€™re not even trying. It wonโ€™t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

None of this is happening. Itโ€™s all in your phone.

Going bananas on X:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Just landed via YouTube:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. Itโ€™s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Gaslighting myself into thinking Iโ€™m in a good mood.

Trending via Telegram:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid peopleโ€™s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Playful text about daily laziness, expressing tiredness and sleep struggles humorously.
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Commentary:
Sounds like your daily routine is trying its best to defy the laws of nature! ๐Ÿ˜ดโ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ’ค Just remember, even if your body can't decide when to be awake or asleep, there's always a chance for a power nap Olympics in between! ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ˜‚

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Social Media Stars โญ

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

68 shares on X this month:

Iโ€™m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

23 shares on Threads this month:

If rich people arenโ€™t upset after an election, then we have failed.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Trying to explain that Iโ€™m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

You can be under 25, just donโ€™t do it around me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people โ€œThanksgivingโ€ when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I generally donโ€™t know what the hell Iโ€™m doing, but Iโ€™m really good at it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means theyโ€™re healing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyoneโ€™s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Snapchat:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said โ€œless McDonaldโ€™sโ€, but Iโ€™m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Taking yesterdayโ€™s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Shared recently on X:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Live now on WhatsApp:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Just shared via X:

Maybe in another life, Iโ€™m a spoiled nepo baby โ€” jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Spotted on Threads:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Live now on Slack:

Iโ€™ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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