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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Nov 26, 2025

3,951

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Trending via Slack:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Breaking via TikTok:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Shared recently on Slack:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Seen just now on X:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Spotted on X:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Making waves on Facebook:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Trending via Threads:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

4 weeks ago

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

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Commentary:
Sounds like your daily routine is trying its best to defy the laws of nature! 😴☕️💤 Just remember, even if your body can't decide when to be awake or asleep, there's always a chance for a power nap Olympics in between! 🏅😂

lazy, morning, nap, night, sleep, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Nov 26, 2025

3,896

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Going viral on X:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Going bananas on Slack:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Going viral on Messenger:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Going viral on Discord:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Breaking via TikTok:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

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