Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
  • My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.
  • Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!
  • I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.
  • So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.
  • I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.