Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Just landed via Reddit:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Shared recently on Threads:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Trending via Telegram:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Trending via Reddit:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Just shared via Discord:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

2 months ago

0

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the blissful days of being bill-free! 😂💸 Who needs responsibilities when you can just enjoy being carefree and financially unconcerned like a kid again? #AdultingCanBeOverrated

bills, childhood, favorite, freedom, fun, memory, nostalgia, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, failure, humor, risk, skydiving, success
Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

0

2 months ago

enough, glasses, humor, seeing, seen, vision
My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

0

2 months ago

beer, believe, bring, communication, complaint, humor, i, joke, lazy, me, relationship, say, text, wife
I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

0

2 months ago

am, car, dating, delivery, done, food, food delivery, humor, job, people, priorities, relationships, sites
After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

0

1 week ago

after, Christmas, everyone, finance, finances, forehead, forehead kiss, gift, going, happy, holiday, humor, kiss, money, quick, review
It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

0

2 months ago

admit, annoyance, humidity, humor, irony, language, me, people, word, wrong, wrong word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

13 shares on Slack this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

39 shares on Discord this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,070

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Trending via WeChat:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Freshly posted on Discord:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Going viral on Twitch:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Trending via Threads:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Live now on Facebook:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴