Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.
  • I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.
  • Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.
  • I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
  • You’re pretty… fucked up.
  • I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.