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Looks like his warnings went down… just like the Titanic! 🚢❄️ Grandpa's iceberg expertise deserved a standing ovation, not an unexpected "exit stage left" moment. Maybe next time they'll listen before the credits roll! 🎭👴🏼 #IcebergAhead

comedy, going, grandfather, humor, iceberg, irony, ship, shouting, sink, sinking, situational, situational comedy, theater, throw, Titanic, tried, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

1 month ago
humor, idiot, posts, realization, realize, self-deprecation, sense, start, understanding
One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

1 month ago
age, birthday, closer, humor, life, mortality, obituary, reflection, say, time, whatever, year
Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

1 month ago
bad, being, boil, going, going to sleep, habits, humor, issues, lifestyle, lot, me, morning, morning struggle, night, night struggle, problems, procrastination, sleep, sleep habits, sleep issues, struggle, waking, waking up
As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

1 month ago
child, childhood, choice, choices, dinner, family, food, humor, leave, mealtime, menu, parenting, sarcasm, take
There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

1 month ago
busy, humor, looking, office, people, productivity, pros, types, work
Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

1 month ago
another, boss, employment, great, humor, irony, job, me, never, sarcasm, work, workplace

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

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Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

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To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

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Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

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Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

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People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

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Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

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Just shared via Reddit:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Making waves on Threads:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

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Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

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No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

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I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

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My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

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The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

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Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

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My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

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