Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My rock bottom keeps refreshing.
  • Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.
  • I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.
  • My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.
  • This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’
  • Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?