Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a boring 401(k) when you've got a treasure map and a sense of adventure?! 🗺️💰 Retirement goals set to 'X marks the spot' level! ⛏️✨#PirateLife"

adventure, buried, buried treasure, contingency, financial, financial security, finding, humor, hunt, me, plan, point, retirement, retirement plan, security, thinking, treasure, treasure hunt, wealth, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

1 month ago
argument, better, coast, culture, days, debate, east, East Coast, humor, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap, west, West Coast
Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

1 month ago
behavior, blame, cat, cat behavior, fault, humor, i, me, morning, morning routine, pet, pet humor, routine, together, too, wake, wake up, whenever
Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

1 month ago
everyone, existence, human, humor, internet, laugh, smart, stupidity
When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

1 month ago
actually, depression, easy, expectation, expectation vs reality, frustration, humor, lemon, reality, something, stress, thought, vs, wordplay
That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

1 month ago
animal, attention, begging, cat, corner, humor, pet, relatable, spotlight
Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

1 month ago
bed, bedtime, early, found, i, just, matter, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, work

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Making waves on Twitch:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Making waves on Reddit:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Trending via WeChat:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏