Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a boring 401(k) when you've got a treasure map and a sense of adventure?! 🗺️💰 Retirement goals set to 'X marks the spot' level! ⛏️✨#PirateLife"

adventure, buried, buried treasure, contingency, financial, financial security, finding, humor, hunt, me, plan, point, retirement, retirement plan, security, thinking, treasure, treasure hunt, wealth, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

0

2 months ago

gay, humor, identity, joke, language, LGBTQ, person, rainbow, word, wordplay
Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

0

4 weeks ago

anything, excited, excitement, humor, laziness, procrastination, sarcasm, super, today
Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

0

1 month ago

frustration, movie, pain, subtitle, subtitles, syncing, watching
I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

0

2 months ago

always, communication, honesty, humor, i, intention, loud, mean, out loud, say
Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

0

2 months ago

bus, character, comedy, everyone, humor, irony, main, main character, perspective, reality, self-importance, transportation
I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, impatience, patience, time, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Reddit this month:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

81 shares on X this month:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

96 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

100 shares on Discord this month:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Just shared via Messenger:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Just landed via Reddit:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Just shared via Slack:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Making waves on Threads:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨