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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

60 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Making waves on Twitch:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Making waves on TikTok:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Making waves on Slack:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Jan 23, 2025

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the audacity of teens these days! Asking for noise-cancelling headphones as if it's a present for you to enjoy uninterrupted peace and quiet from their constant chatter. 🎧🙉 Good luck trying to upgrade the art of ignoring your parents, kiddo!

asking, better, gift, give, going, headphone, headphones, humor, ignoring, me, noise-cancelling, noise-cancelling headphone, parenting, sarcasm, teen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

60 minutes ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Spotted on Instagram:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Breaking via Telegram:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Shared recently on Discord:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Breaking via Slack:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Trending via Slack:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Breaking via Slack:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Spotted on Slack:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

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