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Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a fluffy friend with four paws ready to lend an ear? 🐾 Sometimes all you need is a good belly rub session to feel like you're on cloud nine! ☁️ #PawsitiveVibesOnly"

animals, companionship, fluffy, humor, paws, pet, therapist, walks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

0

2 months ago

allowed, direct, empowerment, fantasy, girl, humor, i, moon, should, speak
Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

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2 months ago

being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing
Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

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2 months ago

bride, guest, humor, marriage, relationship, threat, veiled, veiled threat, wedding, wedding guest, wife
Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

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2 months ago

attention, attitude, confidence, entertainment, forget, give, harder, humor, motivation, never, nobody, observation, people, rivalry, sarcasm, show
Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

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2 months ago

40, activity, age, dating, fun, fun activity, hide, hide and seek, humor, life, loneliness, looking, over, relationships, seek, seeking, single, single life
The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

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2 months ago

cashier, customer, customer service, day, good, good day, honesty, humor, insincerity, mean, retail, said, sarcasm, service

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Instagram this month:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

52 shares on X this month:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

34 shares on X this month:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Making waves on Messenger:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Going bananas on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Spotted on TikTok:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Just shared via Reddit:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Going viral on Instagram:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨