Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

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I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

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Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

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I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

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Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

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A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

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Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

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LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.