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Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a fluffy friend with four paws ready to lend an ear? 🐾 Sometimes all you need is a good belly rub session to feel like you're on cloud nine! ☁️ #PawsitiveVibesOnly"

animals, companionship, fluffy, humor, paws, pet, therapist, walks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

1 month ago
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89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

1 month ago
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I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

1 month ago
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By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

1 month ago
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I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

1 month ago
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I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Just landed via Reddit:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Just shared via Threads:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

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Activity Log ✨

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

What are cats even trying to do?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

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My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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