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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

15 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Live now on YouTube:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Trending via YouTube:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

5 months ago

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the thrill of defying practicality by snipping away the resealable part of the frozen veggie bag! 🥦 Maybe it's not a toxic trait, just a rebellious stance against convenience. Who needs resealable bags anyway? Keep living on the edge, you trailblazer! 🌽😄 #AntiResealableRevolution"

bag, cooking, cooking fail, cutting, fail, food, food struggle, frozen, frozen vegetable, humor, kitchen, kitchen humor, relatable, relatable humor, resealable, resealable bag, struggle, toxic, toxic trait, trait, vegetable, vegetables

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

15 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Just landed via Messenger:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Just shared via Slack:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Just shared via YouTube:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Freshly posted on X:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Trending via Twitch:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Shared recently on Discord:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

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