PORTLAND—In a groundbreaking display of fashion indifference, local man Greg Tenner has become a poster child for the ‘ugliness by choice’ movement. “I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these days,” Tenner admitted while sporting socks with sandals and a shirt showcasing every stain since 2019.

Witnesses expressed admiration for what they’re calling ‘Greg’s heroic uglification.’ “It’s not just about style; it’s a lifestyle,” commented friend Janice Wheely. “He inspires us to ask: Why strive for aesthetic appeal when sweatpants exist?”

Experts are now studying Tennen’s audaciously unattractive demeanor, suggesting it might spark a nationwide trend. “If the eyesore epidemic catches on, we might redefine fashion failure as success,” noted sociologist Dr. Ian Frump, as he donned mismatched plaid. Meanwhile, Tennen proudly continues to reject society’s pretty norms one unkempt hairstyle at a time.