LITTLE ROCK—As national debate continues to rage, citizens are increasingly polarized over the merits of farting as a form of pain relief. “Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache? It’s downright miraculous,” claimed local flatulence enthusiast George Boyle, sparking heated discussions on its supposed benefits across the city.

The debate has reached the highest levels of scholarly discourse, with experts conflicted over whether farting actually possesses therapeutic qualities or if Boyle’s claims are just smelly hot air. “Toot-splaining is running rampant,” said Dr. Harriet Gaswell, a lead researcher in gastrointestinal studies. “It’s like people suddenly think they’re the Pavarotti of poots.”

Despite the controversy, a growing number of people are joining ‘Flatulence Freedom’ groups, determined to normalize the pursuit of gastric relief. “One well-timed fart can be more satisfying than a post-event cigarette,” announced an optimistic Marvin Blower, honorary head of the Little Rock Society of Offensive Odors, who remains hopeful for a future where no one has to suppress their gas for fear of judgment.